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By UNCKRYSTAL11 on 03/26/2011
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Written by AWHITAKER  (3/29/2011 8:25:54 AM)

Your feelings for this person really come across for this person. My suggestion would be that you take this passion (so obviously portrayed) and describe it in ways that are not outright telling. For example, my favorite line in your poem is in the last stanza where you say "so I sing you this song"...this in my opinion is very good because you are showing in a deive way rather than telling right outright. You are not singing a song literally but it is a beautiful deion of the way you feel and of a poem in general. I don't know if this makes sense? :)

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