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She Came and Went
By standrkm on 10/03/2011
Viewed: 254
Reviews: 2
Rating:

 


Written by Cervantes  (10/4/2011 11:33:07 AM)

I think the flow is perfect and I like the story. It is very relatable as I feel like we all have been there at some point. Only line I would adjust is S4L2. Maybe tears of joy I no longer cry or we no longer cry. Something like that depending on what exactly you are going for there. It is the only line that is a little disjointed as is. Otherwise flawless.

thats a poet 

No Rating
Written by Unknown Member  (10/9/2011 10:26:08 PM)

that was good it moves the reader..story flows well..


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