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Wishing for another mans wife
By Stephen on 11/24/2011
Viewed: 1978
Reviews: 3


Written by Mystic_Beauty  (11/25/2011 3:46:18 PM)

A story known by many, great imagery with high emotional presence. There are however a few edits needed. paragraph 2 - you have a wonderful scene that you have wrapped into one sentence families shake hands. no s in dances - cooked needs the ed as does hooked - the scent has - not as.
deemed needs an ed too
The heart beats stronger when it knows it's alive. keep dreaming, keep writing. Thank you for sharing


Written by Mr.Tibbs  (1/10/2012 2:51:42 PM)

I agree with the first comment. This is a rather common story. There have been some relationships that i've wanted to end simply because I wanted her. Still the grammar of this poem can be distracting. Just a couple of grammatical errors need some adjustments. Good poem and great theme.


Written by AusaraMoon  (1/11/2012 9:57:42 AM)

what an honest and open poem about a subject that is shone on yet is so real in many people lives both male and female. You did a great job with expressing your emotions through your writing.

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