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Excellent 
Written by jmalone (2/12/2006 5:54:53 PM)
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This is a very excellent poem. Very reflective and
descriptive. |
It's pretty decent 
Written by titita (8/18/2006 5:41:33 PM)
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Its description reminds of the decoration of a baby's room. However the story seems to get lost most of the times. It is not just a matter or mentioning possibilities of imagining; It is more a matter of rather showing them through the poem. Consider this: Try to paint the room with all this imagery you provide in the poem. Then bring in the characters. The mom or the dad or the baby, or all of them. Then try to bring the descriptions of these animals that are all over the room as decoration to live as an invitation to the baby and the reader to emerge themselves into this imaginary world. Try to work on the rhyme. Children are crazy about rhyming, it helps them to practice sounds while they are aquiring the speech sound patterns of their native language (which in this case would be English). One more thing, sometimes you had rhymes, sometimes you didn't. Choose between having it or not having it all. (remember Dr. Seuss), and don't forget to keep up the good work ;). |
I love this...
Written by Vintaris (12/14/2006 1:43:52 PM)
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dreaming is my favorite thing to do,
I could dream all day if I wanted to
but due to work it would be taboo.
Childrens books pay big, get on that
you seem to have something going
I like the image of a witch and warlock tied together in knots.
cheers
bri
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No Rating
Written by taffazull (1/27/2007 9:45:28 AM)
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A very nice poem but the line'' For the kiddies'' is superfluous.Children do not like to be reminded that they are kids. |
===Sleeping is a party=== 
Written by mcdcad (2/23/2007 9:34:17 PM)
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quite imaginative poem but you need to be a child to appreciate it in it's fullest context!!
But very good poem
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Aawww!
Written by Elihmraya (4/13/2007 10:42:45 PM)
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This is the only poem of yours that I've read, though I loved it! It was so cute and innocent and made me think of mothers talking to children. It made me feel all warm and happy. If this was your first try at writing for kids, it was outstanding!
Jesus saves!
E. |
wonderful stuff
Written by wordsnnoise (4/15/2007 5:37:27 AM)
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It is a great concept, eloquently written, possibly singable...? Certain to leave smiles and happy dreams, keep it up!!! |
Written by brokenprincess (4/10/2008 7:49:18 PM)
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i thought i was very goood but if you realy want this poem to "wow" ppl then you need to put your self into a childs shoes see what they like but it was still good |
im impressed
Written by Soulreaper (4/11/2008 6:52:13 PM)
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honestly you touched the fantasy that only kids can have and those who have forgotten what its like being a kid can rely to it it really touched me
i liked and loved every line and i reread it manytimed to find more and more little surprises in this poem ...keep up the good writing |
:o)
Written by Wind Whisperer (4/26/2008 12:30:14 PM)
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This is a wonderfully penned children's write. Very well done. Keep up with the great work. Keep on penning. Thank you so very much for sharing your wonderful talents with us. *S* Wind Whisperer |
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