Poet & Writing Community Poet Community
About Publish FAQ's Bookstore Free Poetry Contest
MoonTownCafe Home for Poets


  Search

Advanced Search
MoonTownCafe Home My Cafe Write Poems, Stories, and more Publish your Poems, Stories and Book My Friends on this Site Log-in
  Poetry & Writing ForumsFree Poetry ContestJournal

Read Reviews



Woman
By wbb1950 on 02/12/2009
Viewed: 405
Reviews: 3
Rating:

 

No Rating
Written by goodtobe58  (12/26/2016 4:34:08 PM)

The last stanza would sound better and be closer to good diction if you were to say; a tree without leaves or without a leaf. A leaf without a tree does not make much sense for it indicates that trees grow on leave when it is the other way: leaves grow on trees. They are depending on the tree, not the tree on the leaf. Also, a leaf without a tree is a dead leaf, a fallen leaf, so the metaphor is a bad one. think about this.

There are other minor problem, but the one indicated above is the one that spoiled what looked like a good poem.

Thanks

Woman 

No Rating
Written by goodtobe58  (7/2/2017 3:19:20 PM)


Woman 


Written by goodtobe58  (7/2/2017 3:31:29 PM)

There are so abstract ideas here such as beauty always knowing as if beauty were a goddess or a knowing being, a concept to vague for most childred to get if this was intended indeed for a child to read for this side is for children`s verse.

The rest of the poem gets better and the language turns to being more poetic and suitable for a child.

Keep improving!
PS
You now can order my book of poems on kindle. It sells for 2.99$.
Just go to amamzon.com and type my name Luis A. Estble or the anme of the book; " One Hundred Sonnets, Book Two."

I would like you to pass the word around, and if you could, leave a review after reading.

Thank you much and take care!

Luis A. Estable


Read User Reviews
Write Review
Report Poem

Add To Friend

Send To Friend
The Best Online Poem and Writing Community for all
 Members
   Username
Forgot Username?

Password
Forgot Password?
Not a member?
Sign up for free!

Premium Membership

  Newsletter

  Enter your email:
  Site Stats     Online members:0      Online guests:43      Total Users:23882      Total Poems:62966
© 2000-2016 MoonTownCafe.com. All rights reserved. LinksLink to UsPoet LinksContactPrivacy