Written by flanders (11/8/2009 2:01:16 PM)
||I like your stuff thankyou.
Written by goodtobe58 (1/5/2017 4:53:44 AM)
||I feel that the first stanza differs so much from the second that we could say that the treat different themes.
The poem is not bad, but just that one thing, I may be wrong, that I see when I read this poem.
I like the rhyme scheme. It is not easy to rhyme well.
Luis A. Estable
Written by goodtobe58 (6/29/2017 4:43:00 PM)
||I think that the first stanza up to the last two lines is the best part of the poem. The last two lines do not agree in beauty and in sound with the lines that comes before.
The second stanza does not have the beauty that most of the first stanza has and does spoil a bit this ontherwise pretty poem. It`s a verse for children, so depending on their ages, most of them will not notice what I see given that I have been reading poetry of all kinds for more than 20 years.
The poem has its moment of goodness, but this comes mostly in the first four or five lines.
Please, you can now order my book of poems on kindle. It sells for 2.99$.
Just go to amazon.com and type my name Luis A. Estable or the name of the book; "One Hundred Sonnets, Book Two."
If you could, leave a review of it and pass the word around.
Thank you and keep on writing!