Written by Crazyjed (2/11/2007 2:43:14 PM)
||A nice piece here. It is real. couple grammar things-
"Apon these feilds of red"
apon should be upon.
"A sound we use to dread"
use- maybe used?
"The life I once had know is dead"
know to past tense known.
"My worst fears now reality"
maybe- My worst fear is now reality."
All in all a GREAT poem. The rythm is off due to grammatical mistakes but once they are fixed I think this would be a great poem. Keep it real. Julia
Speaks alot of truth
Written by Freya13friday (2/17/2007 6:10:35 AM)
||Very well written you are a great poet that speaks about the world from a very smart perspective. Keep looking through those great eyes!!! you are a TRUE poet!
Written by soulpoet (2/18/2007 8:59:31 PM)
||this is what makes a good song. powerful lyrics. in my opinion, your last line renders the reader speechless:
"the blue blanket above us now/ is no longer a sky"
i think you meant to put an 'is' on the last line, so i put it there in the quote
everything is good about this.
and this is real poetry.
to me, this is one of the best lyrics to ANYTHING i've ever read, professional or amateur
Written by SilverMoon (5/25/2013 4:06:26 PM)