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By SilverMoon on 05/24/2013
Viewed: 149
Reviews: 5


Written by ljs  (5/24/2013 9:30:06 PM)

good point good poem great title
I like it original


Written by blogetry  (5/25/2013 6:24:11 PM)

I agree. :-)

well done 

Written by sailboat  (5/25/2013 11:33:35 PM)

Hi Silver,

There are several things, I see, that I like here. You are not capitalizing the first letter of each line and in Free Verse this is how it should be done. Let the punctuation speak to the reader. You are punctuating the sentences and doing a very good job of it. Though I do not agree with the observation here, (Life is never that fair, or logical), the train of thought is clear and well presented. I don't know, but I think you may be double-spacing the lines to make the poem look longer than it is, not necessary. As a matter of fact, I would recommend you remove "size or" in line 1 and "or strength" in line 2, it would actually strengthen the flow of thought and lessen the rapidity. If you are a young writer I would encourage you to keep writing, I see a lot potential here and those that know me know I don't say that very often.

Thank you for participating in this website.



No Rating
Written by Cl@udi@  (5/26/2013 11:03:55 AM)

I like that you can get a feel of what is going on. I feel as if I'm in that battle, the moment that its happening.


Written by Hannah.thespanner  (6/5/2013 11:06:53 AM)

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