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Happy
By wordsnnoise on 05/18/2009
Viewed: 199
Reviews: 5
Rating:

Happy 


Written by jonnadelleanne  (5/18/2009 5:53:33 PM)

i like the tone much...=>

 


Written by Unknown Member  (5/23/2009 2:13:52 AM)

C

too long and rambling 


Written by martin  (6/14/2009 5:18:12 PM)

there's lot of padding and wek rhymes here - I'd suggest cutting out some so that you're left with the ones you want to focus on.

 


Written by Ternic73  (10/17/2015 2:22:28 PM)


Happy 


Written by goodtobe58  (7/11/2017 3:58:53 PM)

First, you have changed the usual; Love is this...; Love is that for happy is this ; happy is that. This is good so far. Now there is a problem with some lines with this sequence of happies. We don not know in some cases if happy is that thing for being so or happy is as happy does. For intance, if we were to say; a good day is a day when I am happy. A god day is when I eat well and so forth.

Now this does not take much from these happies, and most readers if clever, would know what you mean, but perhaps some not so smart would not have the same reaction with some lines. But if one studies the sequense, one gets the idea and it will set clear in the mind.

I think you did well here, maybe too many happies that are not that poetic. I would have prefered a smaller number of happies. You can carry those happies only so far before they start bothering the mind.
PS
Yoiu can now order my book on kindle. It sells for 2.99$
Go to Amozon.com and type my name Luis A. Estable or the name of the book; "One Hundred Sonnets, book Two."
If you would, pass the word around and after reading, leave a review of the book.

Thanks you much and take care.

Luis A. Estable


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