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The Chuckling Bard


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THE EXORCIST
By Biggus on 09/21/2010
Viewed: 336
Reviews: 0
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There is a ghost in my house
A poltergeist in nature
And I am determined to see
Its imminent departure

I have secured the services
Of an expert of eminence
An exorcist of r .....
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Big Appetite
By jygialo on 09/19/2010
Viewed: 318
Reviews: 0
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I am a typical teenager

Always looking for lasers

To melt down my calories

I weigh a thousand calories

Eating Chucky cheeses

It is my Jesus

I feel warm .....
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FEELING A BIT GINGER
By Biggus on 09/08/2010
Viewed: 306
Reviews: 0
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There is a Ginger girl I see
Whom I see professionally
In a strictly sexual capacity

She is a lady of the night
A tart or a hooker, called Delight
Ok she’s a prostitute, alrig .....
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HELP LINE
By Biggus on 09/08/2010
Viewed: 272
Reviews: 0
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I phoned the incontinence help line today
“I’m Mrs. Brown, can you help me pray”
“Where are you ringing from Mrs. Brown”?
I of course replied “from the waist down”


© By Biggus .....
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TAKAWAY BLUES
By Biggus on 09/08/2010
Viewed: 272
Reviews: 0
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Last weekend my dad tried
A new Indian takeaway
He said it was very good
But he suffered the next day

He was violently sick
And was rushed into hospital
But he’s on the mend .....
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The Desert Cactus (he just wants love!)
By dersoninperson on 09/06/2010
Viewed: 401
Reviews: 3
Rating:
The desert cactus (it’s a factus)
has both a frontus and a backtus,
Quite also he has
Two arms and two hands
Although having two legs he lackstus.

In the soft sand he stands th .....
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Can't Wait for Summer!
By stephenloska on 05/24/2010
Viewed: 244
Reviews: 1
Rating: No Rating
Kids can’t wait.
They’re staring at the clock.
How much longer could it possibly take?
There’s things to do, its time to rock!
Taking tests are almost done.
We’ll pack up our books .....
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Beyond Tomorrow
By Mikey1174 on 07/24/2010
Viewed: 253
Reviews: 1
Rating:
Beneath the facade of our
flesh lay the subterranean
worlds of our souls
Long after our decaying
carcasses wither into the earth
Or be carried of into the wind
Will the nonor .....
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News Of The World
By borap91 on 08/29/2010
Viewed: 284
Reviews: 0
Rating: No Rating
I''m just a simple loner, a friendless fiend
the kind of person you wished you''d never seen
a psychopath with dementia to boot
living in my house of ill repute
I like to perform surg .....
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Stoned Immaculate
By borap91 on 08/29/2010
Viewed: 296
Reviews: 0
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another day passes and I still can''t move my arms
even though my doctor tells me not to be alarmed
I worry that they will never move again
its been months now maybe ten
and my doctor .....
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Garlic Spaghetti Water
By borap91 on 08/29/2010
Viewed: 243
Reviews: 0
Rating: No Rating
Garlic Spaghetti Water
is my favorite thing to drink/eat
no other meal has this beat
just make sure its not undercooked
one taste and you''ll be hooked
its both a solid and a liqui .....
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Duck Feathers
By borap91 on 08/27/2010
Viewed: 281
Reviews: 1
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seeing so many different colors and shapes
having a lunch of sushi and crepes
talking to my imaginary friend Lexington Steele
going out for a ride on my Big Wheel
counting every time .....
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Suicide Gone Wrong
By wbb1950 on 08/21/2010
Viewed: 347
Reviews: 0
Rating: No Rating
Suicide,
a strong
critisizm
put on
ones self

How should
you do it,
should you
hide
in the
shed,
or do it
down town
turning
streets red.

.....
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21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES
By Biggus on 08/19/2010
Viewed: 204
Reviews: 0
Rating: No Rating
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 148

Elsie Marley''s grown so fine,
She won''t get up to feed the swine,
But lies in bed ''till eight or nine!
Doing the farm hands two at a time
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PUT DOWNS
By Biggus on 08/19/2010
Viewed: 201
Reviews: 0
Rating: No Rating
PUT DOWN # 31

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
Before he has chance to deliver
His pick up line .....
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Playing Nazi.. OPPS!
By Moni on 08/08/2010
Viewed: 199
Reviews: 0
Rating: No Rating
Playing Yahtzee
with my family
at the restaurant table

on accident i told
mother she should have rolled
for nazi, instead of Yahtzee

it would be funny
but oh how luc .....
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Day in Retirement
By wbb1950 on 07/19/2010
Viewed: 241
Reviews: 1
Rating:
At the club house,
everyday,
Mar-john the game
the women play.

Shuffle Board
for quarters,
men''s game of choice,
saving up,
new Rolls Royce.

Gulls drop
th .....
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Shoot your Neighbors Horse
By wbb1950 on 07/18/2010
Viewed: 184
Reviews: 0
Rating: No Rating
Hanging from a tree,
rope around his neck,
shot his neighbor''s horse,
showing disrespect.

Antagonizing your
neighbor,
a gallant thing
to do, shoot his
horse,
hide .....
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Winstons Trip to The Vet
By wbb1950 on 07/15/2010
Viewed: 273
Reviews: 2
Rating:
A trip to the vet,
a traumatic thing,
just a blood test,
slight prick,
and a sting.

Looking for
an escape route,
a window he finds,
no accomplice
will help him,
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EARLY ARRIVAL
By Biggus on 07/05/2010
Viewed: 219
Reviews: 0
Rating: No Rating
At premature ejaculators anonymous
I sat all alone in the meeting room
And I pondered my solitary situation
And concluded that I just came too soon


© By Biggus On 7/5/2010 11: .....
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