|She, For Whom I Havent Got A Way
By kayakndan on 06/25/2014
Why should the source of such glories as her smile and cheering laugh
become such a clouded image, a nightly unease
lamented now, a dour mindspring of dejection
now inserted into my downtrodden dreaming
of us together in glorious raptures
during our few nights
so far away from it all
yet so closely held in our hearts of yore?
Ah, sweet finger of Fate,
I must call bullshit on your shiny apple dangled in front of my nose.
You, my fair-weather friend, were so wrong for this one.
She and I? We did nothing wrong except live on our two worlds
whose sensuous orbits gave our bodies gravity yielding
the highest tides of flowing oceans crashing into passion
emotional mountains rumbling, spewing affections
head-spinning sweating grandeur as the suns heat
shone brightest on our final lascivious kisses goodbye at daybreak-
rushed instances trying to physically
sear the confluence of shared desires into a permanent marker
we could visit anytime with transcendental familiarity.
Yet off into the normal vacuum of space we drifted.
Orbiting in the grip of our lifes closest suns.
Alas, how I did so hope the plotting science of my craving mind
could conjure some warp-speed craft to catch up to her,
to cut the distance and meld our minds at the moist touch of doting foreheads.
The technology may provide the means of communication
but not the transporter pad to beam there so easily to her sacred embrace.
Of the many, she was the obvious one, Fate.
I care not for your obstacles, your excuses, your obvious spite.
Ours was a potential foray into an alliance of endless delights.
Maybe I called it surprisingly wrong, maybe I was overly optimistic,
Out of character, I know. Far from my passive aloofness, I am aware.
But even stoic granite walls may crumble when the sweetest horn is blown.
The barricaded steel doors bolts may slide open when the lightest rap is delivered.
My burrowed redoubt of stated lonely finality of myself was breached by her smile.
A surprise invasion? Really, Fate?
You let her slip through like a sexy sapper, didnt you?
She set her subtle charges and detonated the pillars holding up my faade
for my own good, I thought, after I saw the folly of my prior emotional neutrality.
And she retreated to her own country, smiling at her success,
awaiting my kissing retaliations upon her body,
telegraphing messages wishing our treatise be negotiated earnestly by candlelight
and far more often in the cover of moonlights embrace.
It was but a feint at love, though, eh, Fate?
Not an invasion where we could conquer our demons finally.
No, it was a bright beacon of hope whose tempting light
seen over the widest ocean- life's gulf separating our respective nations.
Damn ye, Fate, for sending the constant torpedoes of life to sink my venturing boats.
So off onto our mutual highways we have travelled now.
Passengers of various importance to be driven on short trips somewhere briefly nice.
Slight vacations of chemistry whims where my clothing is usually optional.
Family trips between to pass the time and raise good citizens for the world Fate controls.
All the while I gaze off into a horizon of a smiling few pasts.
Daydreaming by day, star-struck by night.
For ultimately, all we had was a few short star-struck nights
and endless days we dreamed would last longer than counted hours.
Days were measured instead
in thundered heartbeats and shuddering electric impulses
of timeless merriment over good dinners where we feasted on spicy food
and giddy drinks garnished in festive limes and longing eyes.
Laughter nourishing our hearts
filling our minds with tasty hints and whispered wants enabling
our souls to live on in our shared streets of perpetual smiles.
Hands held, arms entwined on long drives
somewhere, anywhere but away from the feeling of glee so innately casual between us.
The drives are now just as they were before, for me.
Banal, brief jaunts to toil, to fatherhood, to sup, to insincerely woo,
towards age, towards changes, towards who the hell knows?
Certainly for now, into passing kilometers of humbled glumness.
For the highways measure farther than our embrace could ever hope to stretch.
Far too many greedy cups of Fate dip daily from the gas tank to hold out hope
for the one never-ending trip into togetherness
from which we would never wish to return.
So across the horizon and into my minds eye,
I can only gaze and recall when such expanses of distance and life
were easily traversed.
And bade her farewell-
Godspeed, my dear, my lingering kiss waved off into the air,
with the lucky local villager
whose mere shuffling feet
may so easily carry him to your door
so he may now kiss yours.
May Fate be kinder to you, my former lover,
than it ever was to me.
? By kayakndan On 6/25/2014 6:40:46 PM