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For Celine 2003

For Celine 2003
By Kiwiheart on 05/18/2006
Viewed: 2279
Reviews: 19
I sit here 7:40 at night
Listening to my girl
Her music is soothing and calm
She lets me escape my world.

Tin of peaches in left hand
Coffee on the table
Fresh out of the shower
My world is stable.

As I sit here, headphones on
I am thinking many things
The more I listen, the more I think
It’s the quiet style in which she (Enya) sings.

Coffee is wonderful
As I sip it, now and then
All this time thinking
Writing paper on lap, and a pen.

There are things I need said
For all my worlds eyes to see
My life isn’t always as peachy
As sometimes I make it out to be.

With thought in my mind
And music in my ears
I write for you my feelings
Before I turn to tears.

The last seven months
Have been hell on hell
I left the one person I truly loved
And her precious little girl.

Until I left, for three and a half years
I was proudly your dad
Your mum, I loved
But now I am sad.

I suspected all that time
That biologically, I was not
Your mother kept the truth from me
And all, for what?

Leaving your mother
Was something I had to do
But to leave my little girl
Could you?

The truth finally came out
When a DNA test was done
I am not your biological father
Mum, as always is mum.

Apart from my mother dying
That was the worst day of my life
It was like my heart was pulled out
And stabbed with a blunt knife.

Unless you have been through this…
Hell! Now I’m starting to cry
If you can relate to me
Then you will understand why.

Nobody will ever know
The bad pain in my heart
To lose someone I loved
As now we are forever apart.

Worse pain, even more than that
I have lost my little girl
She has lost her only known daddy
Fate has destroyed our world.

People CAN understand
The loss of a love
But when it comes to a child
Not even from God above.

No one can comprehend
The pain I feel
The loss of a special child
My special little girl.

It hurts me so bad
All I can do is cry
I cry, and I cry
All I want to do is die.

I have two little photo’s
One, of me with my little girl
Happy times, happy memories
That was our little world.

I dry my eyes, blow my nose
Music still in my ears
I look at my photo’s, and remember
I cry with loving tears.

There’s one thing I need known
To my special little girl
What ever happens to me
You are my life, and my world.

No matter what is said or done
Ion many years to come
I will never ever turn my back on you
You are always my number one.

I love you now, as when you were a baby
Nothing has changed
The only thing is we live apart
Our lives re-arranged.

I want to love again
I know I must
But no longer with your mother
For her, I can no longer trust.

In years to come
Dramatic events will unfold
When you are old enough
Your truth, will be told.

But what ever happens
I will always be here
I love you as a father should
I will always care.

Celine Ella-Rose
When the time is right
Read this through our eyes
I hope it gives you better sight.

I love you


Nigel S. Towers
18th March, 2003

© By Kiwiheart On 5/18/2006 8:38:13 PM
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