From time to time I find myself in a state of confusion. The illusion of my emotional state has created an unbelievable uncertainty. Converting me from a believer to a non-believer that I will ever experience true love and happiness. Trapped here inside my own world of fear. Feeling like the nearest I ever get to emotional bliss is when I’m kissing the lips of the one whom I am involved with at the time. Yet time and time again it's only temporary. Mainly because I am not very convinced that the intense onslaught of feelings and desire will last. Knowing that in the past my point has been proven. So I gotta keep it movin' from one woman to the next. Sometimes it's so perplexed that I even get vexed at myself. Will I ever be able to just let go of my ego and learn how to hold on to the notion that true love is real and can last? As fast as they come I seem to let them go. With nothing left to show that they even existed. Fixated on all of my beliefs that they are the exact same kind of creature as I. Letting time and love pass us by as we spend meaningless time on top of the sheets and beneath the covers. While others claim that they are in love. They marry and get engaged. Spend time setting the stage for the most perfect wedding day. And then as time and excitement pass away they realize they no longer want to stay with the one that they promised to love and to cherish. Through thick and thin, through goodness and sin, until death does them in. they pretend that they are still happy after decades and years, through sadness and tears, until the truth finally appears that they were unfaithful. This is what I’ve seen time and time again. And it all comes back to the fact that they usually doubt what true love is all about. Because in actuality it appears to just be a game. And love somehow always causes pain. This is why I choose to refrain from the game of cat and mouse. Never wanting to take a spouse as I continue to shell out this temporary love.