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paul, the hims, and feels

paul, the hims, and feels
By dandycky26 on 11/20/2006
Viewed: 516
Reviews: 1
But i've been to a bar
and sat silently
barely said a word
awkwardly met people

and knew i was beautiful
away from you

before i had even arrived
i caught a man staring in line
all through my proper vanity
cuz i was searching for my reflection
and saw his gaze...
his quick gaze...
his stiff glance upon mine

he turned away
and when we sat i thought him away
making him beautiful
then i noticed his father in front of me
and stared and stared and stared
while i gave up my secrets

see before that
all day my soul had been humming a mellow cry
and i had read all my old poems
wondering where they'd go when i died
once again as longing music reached across opposing walls
i tried to decide when i'd go home, and if i'd ever leave

because when i'm in you, i know i'm beautiful
but i'm sad, and it's appealing
and when i'm not with you, i feel beautiful
and i'm still sad, but hey, i'm feeling

the smell of smoke
and laughing men
clashing glass
hooting broad broads
and shy people breathing
yup, that was all around me
and in the stall i sat
i didn't wanna leave
cuz i kept reading to my right
hoping my thoughts weren't only my own

so i sat there listening to people trying to pour their hearts out like honey
and i could sense him near me
a different him
durin a very different hymn
he asked me something
and i kept saying "what?" till
i just gave up and answered...even though i still don't know

strange, that i still don't know what the most important him said wheni stuttered the truth
i might ask
if i ever get home
and if i ever come back to you

so i sat thinking hard about how hard i try to not try hard
the colors i wore, a scarf to age me, a bun to wisen me up

i leaned foward
modeling to the current soundtrack of my life
i went to read the stalls one more time
escaping the another him i didn't understand
came here, and knew my hands enough to write
no more boys
they want to feel
since then they need to like men
and i doubt you have that in you
leaning men make me feel...beautiful
and when i'm in you i just know i am

i'm sad because i've been in you so long
and you won't grow, you won't dig into me
no man, no men, no better him
just morning hymns
and tolling bells, as i sit waking up afar watching others run into your heart, and i'm too late and i don't run
not for you
not when i'm this sad

but i've been to a bar
and sat silently
barely said a word
awkwardly met people

and knew i was beautiful
away from you

yeah, i'll be back
smoke in my hair
vanity flowing smoother in my veins
just to sing him some more love
in hope that it won't be the only beautiful thing reaching towards me from the wall

© By dandycky26 On 11/20/2006 11:11:13 PM
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