Another year’s gone bye my dear….. i’m thicker around the middle! My joints ache and my sight has dimmed Now only my ten year old can competently use electrical goods safely
I make noises….. standing, sitting, lifting or simply getting out of bed is now accompanied by a sort of growling noise I’ve started humming! The tune is a mystery to me and unfortunately other people always notice I’m doing it before I do…
I sometimes grow a beard….but it seems that now it begins in my ears I believe that god has a plan for us all …..although the part of the plan that requires the rampant growth of nasal hair will always baffle me!
I’m sure that soon I will recognise the practicality of elasticated waste bands closely followed by a faint scent of urine and a craving for boiled sweets
Baldness sadly is on the horizon……do I comb over and ignore it or embrace it by shaving the rest and polishing to a shine…I once saw an old bald man wearing a pink roll neck sweater….i’m sure his resemblance to a 5’6” penis was lost to him but will go with me to my grave!
When I was younger I’d walk around in the winter in just a vest!……. Now my vest is thermal, accompanied by long johns and a full compliment of patterned sweaters Not long from now I’m sure ill be ordering beige clothing from the back of news papers…..self heating gloves and shoes with full length zips and a mock fleece lining
Throughout all these trials my dear I know that you’ve always been there!
And thinking about it I never felt like this before I met you
I think its your fault
How could you do this to me
I’m only 35
Happy anniversary babe we’ve all this to look forward to xx