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SchoolGirl Crush



SchoolGirl Crush
By furvacatta on 04/05/2008
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You know those crushes you get in middle school? Some boy is nice to you, you decide he’s your one true love, and you spend the next couple of months planning your wedding and blushing whenever he so much as glances your way.

This time it isn’t like that, though I almost wish it was.

It’s so different when it’s a friend. You don’t have some sort of idealized view of them, and you want to be with them anyway. You know someone down to the very core of their being, every flaw, every little mistake, and you still can see yourself spending the rest of your lives together. It’s hard, you know?

It’s even worse when they’re the ultimate unattainable. Couples can break up, families can move, and religions can change, but sexual orientation isn’t just some obstacle you can overcome. Bisexuality isn't uncommon, but when it comes down to the final round, gay is gay, straight is straight, and I will never be with you.

It’s just one of those things I’ll have to learn with I suppose. Maybe in forty years we’ll sit next to each other and laugh over this whole thing, but for now all I know is that I love you. As a friend, as a person, and as a stupid schoolgirl crush, I love you.

Did you hear that? I love you.

As creepy and weird as it sounds, I love you.

As much as it pains me and as guilty as it makes me feel, I love you.

But I don’t know if you’ll ever understand how much.

© By furvacatta On 4/5/2008 4:57:08 PM
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