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My Life And Jacks..



My Life And Jacks..
By Latrina.s on 06/26/2009
Viewed: 434
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I heard that one of the keys to happiness is bad memory.. and i don''t have that
see, i remember my life story since i been five years old
and because the things that done happened in my mind will never go old
i also read that men are like a deck of cards, you''ll find the occasional king but the rest are jacks
its not like I said that.. these are just life facts..
the first man when i opened my eyes and seen was my father
to spend time and take a look at my school books he would never bother
its just flash backs of him and my mother fighting when i used to hide in my locker
my mom used to cry so much that i forgot she can smile
so i ran away from home hoping that I''d be a child
my life was a lil too wild
i used to hide in my room for awhile
to run away from all this drama
and at one point i cant lie i used to HATE my mamma..
Hey, hate is such a strong word
but what killed me the most that i was in so much pain but she never understood
in so many ways she tired to make my father understand
that "in order to be a man you don''t have to raise your hand"
and he never did... hit her
but the problem is somebody was proving his man-hood on me..
it wasn''t just once, or twice, or even three
it was a lil too much that i started forgetting where i was or where i wanna be
its just memories of him and his stanky breath..
and how hard he used to squeeze my arms
and every time i cry my tears used to burn my cheeks
i used to get everything harmful near me and scream; THAT''S ENOUGH!
but every time i say that his fist gets rough..
so i scream again.. THAT''S ENOUGH.. ENOUGH.. ENOUGH..!!
when i looked at the ground.. my blood is dripping..
just four years ago i was two years old..
and my life is already so cold..
no one to believe me
and no one for me to hold
i was just like a prisoner that wanna break free..
so i stop talking
and i let my bruises speak for me
there were too many that doctors took me away from my family
because they realized that i wasn''t a normal child..
in court; they asked my father "Do you abuse your child at home?"
my father yelled "HELL NO!"
but it really wasn''t my father..
it was my mamma''s brother.. the second man..
i was gonna speak..
but my tongue got heavy..
really.. really.. wanted to break free..
but my tongue wouldn''t let me..
so i let things be the way they wanted to be..
in 04 that was the day when i broke free
i started doing me..
being the great ol Bee..
only took me months till i met the third man..
we were best friends more like he was my family
he even introduced me to his mom Amely
three years later he said he was feeling me
so i gave his two weeks to prove his love..
gave him a place to stay
and my car and money for him to play
and he did play..
he played with my heart..
when i caught him cheating on me on the second week i told him " I thought you were smart?"
what can i say.. I was stupid..
what in the hell was i thinking.. i don''t even believe in cupid
so i walked away.. and all i can think of.. "ALL I MEET IS JACKS!"
but i still got hope of finding the occasional king
maybe I''ll meet him this summer.. maybe I''ll meet him this spring
you know what?.. you never know i might already know him..


© By Latrina.s On 6/26/2009 7:45:51 AM
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