I keep on trusting. Keep on hoping. Everytime shot down. Always second, never first. Im tired of it. Tired of building myself up, only to fall. Trying to dream. Laughed at. Holding my hand out, screaming for help. Left behind in the dust. I want to matter, to mean something. To you, to me, to someone. Anyone. Gritting teeth. Smile. Fake. I want to be real, just to matter. Thats all, not asking much. Everyone else gets it. Im tired of being second, second to everything. Im tired of holding tears. Im over it.