I prolonged to look for things I know that aren't there, but yet tend to ignore things that actually stare back. I seek for wing's I'll never gain by pretending to fly from this human deadly bacterial disease known to be ? PAIN.
And yet somehow and someway I long to find you, the one thing that hurt me I crave wanting to be with because of the pain that made me feel alive. Desperate to be hugged by those who made me feel your suffering because you loved me, and yet I ask is it a choice that leaves me to think this way? Or maybe it's the pull of your weight that leaves me feeling the hands of hatred that rapidly beaten and choked me while I cried and stared to you? Whatever it is I question to see the shackles that grip me by the wrist from the life you given me, but still I bind to your abusive pain so bluntly disguise it to myself as a one woman heart of her child's love.
And yet the greediness of your hands still awaits for me to come back home too you while holding on tightly naked but guardedly bruised on my body... As I prepare for one last time only because it's the way we love, right mamma?