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Sweet Release \

Pain. Sadden. Darkness. SURVIVOR

Pain. Sadden. Darkness. SURVIVOR
By Brynda on 09/08/2017
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"He who kept his pain inside had cried the most during those quiet sleepless nights. It was then he had awoken and shed that last teardrop which symbolizes his pain and all his demons from within finally able to be released. He became free from all those and was happy to be finally alive..."

I struggle to breathe as I held my head under the water that filled my bathtub, wanting it so badly to just fill me. I cried in agony, I scream consistently in frustration, I self harmed out of wanting to feel nothing less than the truth of this reality. It's was all just too much to bare with at such an early age I shouldn't have had to be forced to grow up, but I was and yet managed to do it on my own. She who would say it was my fault that I brought it on myself but didn't have an idea of the pain or what caused my actions towards her. Yet those who surround me with pointed fingers from each direction I looked
and each cornered I stood on.
She mocked me and blocked me out, but never once opened her ears when I cried out "Mommy". She ignored her daughter cries, she laughed when she became a whore from her own son's but point fingers at her. All the emotional abused, all the strike's and lickings her own daughter took every day after misbehaving or a reported phone call from school. No one saw, no one would ever hear and yet everyone stopped to stare. They would look and ask of the abused that showed on this young girl's face, whether it was the dried blood or swollen upper lip, bloody mouth and nose or even perhaps a swollen eye. She answers with "a bee stung me" trying so hard to reach out for closure, answer's with plenty of questions as her mother ran off. She escaped, leaving her to a notebook and pencils still writing question till this day. But that little girl now, the one who had endured all the abused, every sexual act, the one who was molested by her own sibling's isn't a little girl anymore or a girl at all.

He is a young man, he is a victim, a person, a human and a survivor.
I sit here writing this poem sharing my relationship to this little girl who tried to committee suicide a couple of times, the girl who wanted to run with her feet to the roof top and throw herself off to fly.
And now he sits with his legs fold into a pretzel style typing up this poem in his ninja turtles pajama bottom and black crew neck T- shirt, listening to the singer Logic a song by him that his girlfriend dedicated. She knows his pain and is a witness to his blood he used to let run down his arm's, after cutting so deeply and helped him take care of it.
I am that person, who was once that little girl, yet now a young man...
But most of all I lived through every darkest place, and can now bring light to those rooms once left in. I smile now because at last I'm happy and it's real, I cry not out of agony but happiness, most of all I breathe because I know it's OK to.

The worst is all over now

Written By: Ace Cardona
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