All of a sudden reality hit me. The life that I have been longing for for so long has been prohibited. Prohibited by the people around me. Prohibited by the people that I know and I love and I trust. Prohibited by the people that I thought would be setting me free.. Not, not letting me leave. But I can't feel anything anymore, I'm used to the pain of a thousand knives being twisted into my spine. I'm immune to the pain on trustworthy people's untrustworthy words screeching into my ears. But feeling nothing is the worst pain of all, a pain I cannot compromise with. So what happens when feeling nothing is the happiest that you have ever been? I feel nothing anymore, because no-thing can make me feel as low as I felt before And inside I feel the empty nothingness numbing the insides of my nimble heart and soul. And my friends keep telling me they're going to help me feel again, But yet again, It's those twisted friends of mine, Speaking their twisted minds Whilst they're busy twisting knives Into the back of my blistered spine And my only cry out for help is where my mouth curls up at the corners And there is a sparkle in my eye Because 'nothing' doesn't teach me how to shout. 'Nothing' tells me that i am lying to myself. 'Nothing' tells me that I hurt But deep inside I know that nothing can hurt me Because feeling 'nothing' is what hurts the most. 'Nothing' is everything. 'Nothing' is in me. 'Nothing' destroyed me.