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ms finch's journal \

always searching



always searching
By ms finch on 06/04/2005
Viewed: 709
Reviews: 6
Rating:
/



he's 4 years old
he wants to change his name to

"i like my friends"


it's true / such a miserable day for mothering

the 7 year old sent home for punching because a girl
budded in front of him in the line and then pushed him to the ground

yeah it sucks / it's the second time this week
thank fuck the week is over













& so i tumble back in to a friday nite
& i remember













i left my cigarettes in the rain today

some stayed dry / some soaked brown













iris blooms / deep purple / pale yellow
some a combination of both colours





& my mind stays confused on a day
like today when lay my head down
sun cusped on the east mountain
& i could hear the morning birds

calling me / time to sleep
& there is some thing


about being awake all night













& after you make love he gets up
leaves silent / no good bye
no thank you / he goes to watch tv











& i sleep until 11 in the empty bed













some where between the sun falling
& me rising / i fell apart / for got where i stood

bare


& yea / i walk through the valley of darkness

i fear / my own evil


what are these stories i tell my self / my myth


some where i for got to be happy


is it really so bad


ash tray over flows








& i am walking through a cloud again

a fog / as it were /



yesterday / sun sparkled diamonds on the wet
leaves of the poplar / wind struck / fairies







he runs his hand down my thigh / never says a word

& some where between talking too much / & gasping for breath
i for got how to talk / words lodged in my throat / sticky
i wanted to say i love you / i wanted to say / make love


hand runs across hip bone / mouth to breast


& i think of round river rocks / eternally tumbled

& how they end up in my garden























phone rings a million times / / & we are tired again





gideon taps me on the shoulder / laughs


you really did it this time




what were you searching for again




i turn & he is gone / really only an image in my head
the black voice of reason & in sanity / oh yes / we've walked
many times before
















up stairs / children sleep / & i wonder what it must be like to sleep
the sleep of the growing








& june lands


fast furious lush




the garden

a tangle of / a mass of / oh green / it's green


& for that i am grateful / i've come round the sun again

but i don't know how i got here













broken / bitten bottom lip
stained purple bruise


the tongue licks the bottom lip
over & over & over again



some thing about a little bit of pain







& yes / these words i use are simple / it doesn't take much
to realize / sitting on the verge / caught between the shore line
& never ending waves / / i wish to be swept out to sea /








& so / i search














///

© By ms finch On 6/4/2005 3:01:48 AM
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